Our Circles of Motherhood

Welcome to Her Circle of Motherhood, where I connect with mothers from around the world to explore the beauty and complexity of parenting within communities. Today, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Marie Zapletalova, a mother of one from the Czech Republic. We discussed how connection and shared wisdom have shaped her journey through motherhood.

―To start, please share a bit about yourself—what do you call your hometown?

I’m from a small town called Slusovice in the Czech Republic. It’s a beautiful countryside area with about 3,000 residents, but it also has good access to a larger city. I attended secondary school in that city and then went to university in Brno, the second-largest city in the Czech Republic. And there I met my husband.

―Beautiful. So that city holds some special memories for you.

Exactly. After working in England and then Slovakia, I found a job in Prague with the Government Ministry. I was in charge of handling EU affairs and was in close contact with Brussels. I occasionally travelled to Brussels for meetings covering various topics, such as European budgets and finances. Although it was challenging, I really enjoyed the job and met many key people through this position.

A Proposal, a Visa, and a One-Way Ticket―The Unexpected Beginning of Our Life Together

―What a remarkable role! Sounds like you were right at the heart of things. After that, your life eventually brought you to Shanghai. Can you tell me how that happened?

After working there for three years, my husband received an offer to work in Shanghai. At the time, we weren’t even married. He wanted me to go with him, but for that to happen, we needed to be legally married. So, he proposed to me, and asked if we wanted to go to China together.

―Wow, that sounds like quite a life-changing proposal!

It really was. I mean, he had been telling me about the interview, and I knew he wanted to see the world. So I said yes, though it came as a bit of a surprise.

―So you were ready to embrace the adventure together.

To be honest, I felt a bit emotional at first because he was proposing while also telling me about the move to China. It was just too many emotions to process all at once.

―I can imagine that was a lot to take in all at once. What happened after that?

We got married, and then he left just ten days after the wedding. After that, I applied for my visa and flew to Shanghai two months later.

―What a dramatic start to your married life! How did you feel when you arrived in Shanghai?

The first couple of months felt very strange. I was so lost and lonely. China seemed very different, and not many people spoke English. I remember often calling my family back home during that time.

―That must have been quite a culture shock.

It was. When I first arrived, most apps weren’t even bilingual, so I didn’t know how to use them. I’ve read some articles about expat moms in Shanghai, and those women generally seem very confident. But I felt so lost and really needed to find my way.

―I understand. We often only see the finished chapter, not the difficult beginning.

Yes. Then after a couple of months, I found some expat groups on WeChat, and that made things much easier for me.

―So you found some much-needed support.

Exactly. In addition, I eventually found an internship with the British Chamber of Commerce. I started working for their events team and helped organise events. For example, they hosted an annual ball with 600 guests, which was a very big deal. That gave me something to occupy my time, while I could also meet new people and gain work experience.

―You were beginning to find your place in the city.

That’s right. I worked there for over a year, but came back to some of their events even after my son was born. Those were all good memories.

When Motherhood Began in Lockdown: Navigating Postpartum Uncertainties During COVID

―Those sound like very special memories. Since you mentioned your son Martin, I’d love to rewind a bit and hear about your journey into motherhood. What do you remember about your pregnancy?

That was back in 2019, before COVID hit. One thing I remember is a maternity check-up, where the doctor told me that my blood type was not available in China. This means if any complications occurred during delivery, they would have to either provide me with a different blood type and then probably transport me out of the country.

―Oh my goodness… that sounds so frightening.

It really was. It’s funny though, because it was an international hospital. I’m not sure why they are not able to get my blood type in storage. Anyway, we decided that I would go back to Europe before the delivery.

―I’m glad you had that option. When did you return to the Czech Republic?

I went back when I was seven months pregnant. That was the last moment I could travel anywhere. I wanted to stay in Shanghai with my husband for as long as possible since he had to remain there for work.

―Of course, I can imagine how you felt.

Then he planned to follow me when I was due. However, my delivery was delayed for 10 days, and we were just waiting and waiting. Then, in March 2020, COVID hit the Czech Republic.

―Oh no… the timing couldn’t have been more challenging.

That’s right. My husband made it to the Czech Republic, but when I finally went into labour, he wasn’t even allowed to enter the hospital. I gave birth alone, with just the doctor and nurses by my side. Nobody else was permitted in the delivery room. I remember feeling a bit empty and alone. It was difficult to handle everything by myself.

―I can only imagine how difficult that was.

And during the delivery, I started to bleed and ended up needing a C-section. This was exactly what they had worried about in China: the emergency surgery. Thankfully, everything went well in the end, and Martin was born. He was a healthy baby, and I was safe, too.

―What a relief that everything turned out well!

It really was. They released me from the hospital a couple of days later. And then, I found myself in the middle of a lockdown.

―That must have felt surreal.

It did. So I was staying home with my husband and my parents. I had all the necessary care, which was good, but I just didn’t know what to expect especially with my baby. We were completely locked down with no visitors—no friends or relatives.

―What an extraordinary time to bring a newborn home.

It truly was. Even during doctor’s visits with my baby, we had to knock on the window first. They would disinfect the area, and only one person could enter the room; everyone else had to stand outside.

―It must have felt like stepping into a completely different reality. After you gave birth, did your husband return to Shanghai right away?

He couldn’t go back immediately because there were no flights. He ended up staying in the Czech Republic for three months. Then, in June 2020, he was finally able to board a special government plane and return to Shanghai.

―Sounds like the situation was challenging for all of you.

Exactly. Then three months after my husband left, Martin and I finally went back to Shanghai as well. By that time, Martin was already six months old. We spent a week in quarantine at home with him. I remember my husband had already bought all the baby supplies, and he was so excited to see Martin after three months apart.

From Lonely Walks to Friday Coffee Mornings—Finding Connections in a City Far From Home

―I can only imagine how excited your husband must have been. After you settled back into Shanghai, what did life look like for your family?

At that time, Martin had just turned six months old, and it was time for him to start solids. So I was trying to figure out how to buy healthy food for him. I needed to find a trusted brand for baby food, but the COVID situation made things more challenging. I felt a bit scared and started reading a lot about baby foods, and that’s when I discovered Shanghai Mamas.

―I see, you were doing everything you could to make the best choices.

I was. I realised they shared discount codes every month for epermarket, which was very helpful. I also found some organic vegetable brands through recommendations. I was particularly happy when I met a German family who had a lot of baby food from Germany. They were leaving China and didn’t need it anymore, so I was able to buy from them.

―Wow, I love how one helpful connection seemed to lead to another.

Exactly. So my quest for baby food was a success, all thanks to those connections. But other than that, my life was rather quiet in the beginning. My husband’s schedule was quite busy, so I was mostly alone with my baby. Then, I discovered that Shanghai Mamas was organising a coffee morning in my neighbourhood. I thought it was great, so I started attending their coffee morning in Lujiazui.

―Sounds like they became a valuable resource for you.

That’s right. I would take the stroller for a nice morning walk and enjoy some adult conversation over a cup of coffee. I learned so much from the moms I met there, such as where they buy things and which preschools they send their kids to. They all knew what was best for children.

―What a wonderful example of people helping each other out.

It really was. I really looked forward to those Friday coffee mornings. They became my “me time.” I didn’t get much of that when Martin was a baby.

―I do empathise with that.

Speaking of “me time,” I also discovered that one of the moms in my compound was teaching yoga in the mornings. So once a week, I spent an hour in that morning class and enjoyed some time for myself. It really helped me organise my thoughts and learn about how other moms were dealing with life in this new environment.

―It’s amazing how these connections can appear just when you need them most.

It really is. Then my husband’s contract in Shanghai came to an end, so we returned to the Czech Republic for a while. We weren’t sure what was next, but one day, my husband came home and told me, “We’re going to Hong Kong.”

→ Next: From Uncertainty to Paradise―Finding an Unexpected Home in Hong Kong

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